Past few days....

Well...it's that time of year again... The mini talent show at NES (Karson's school) was this week. She decided that she would sing... That's right...she wanted to sing a song... Well...she wanted to sing White Horse by Taylor Swift. She practiced a lot at home...every evening you could hear her through her door singing it over and over. She knows EVERY word...and sounded GREAT!!! Wednesday came and she didn't have the disk - it was sitting on my desk... I was asked if I wanted to go watch her (no parents were invited...it was the kiddos only...BUT...that's one of the perks of working in the District) and I could only go Thursday morning so I was going to be able to go.

Well...she got here Wednesday afternoon and said that she wasn't going to do it...she was too scared and nervous about doing it. So I said ok. THEN she comes in yesterday and tells me that shes decided to do it...TODAY... In front of the entire 3rd grade!! I said ok. Well...I send Abby an instant message asking if she did it or not...and she said that she was keeping her for last in case I was coming. SO...the great mom that I am...I speed (literally) to NES and make it there before she sings... And as soon as I get there....they tell me she decided NOT to sing!! Oh well...I got to see my baby girl for a few minutes... I walked into the gym and she was sitting with some of my friends (teachers - not kiddos) and she saw me and her eyes lit up!! She asked what I was doing there and I told her and she got a frown on her face and said "But I'm not singing...are you mad?" Of course I wasn't mad! And I told her that!! I could never be mad at her for something like that... I rarely ever get mad at her... Only if she doesn't turn her homework in, leaves a mess at the table, or leaves her clothes all over the bathroom and bedroom floors... And when I have to fight with her about homework...other than that...I NEVER get mad at or or have to get on to her. She's the perfect kiddo!! So caring and loving!!

She's the light of my eyes!!!

My baby girl.....

I am so proud of my baby girl! She got two awards at school Friday!!! One for getting the honor roll and one for making an A on her Reading Benchmark!! Way to go Karsie!!! Just wanted to give her some kudoos!!

She's doing a little better with my dad's death. She was just so close to him that him passing away really got to her! She was his "little nurse" when he felt bad. She used to rub his feet for him when they were swollen. When she saw his hand on his forehead, she knew that it meant that he had a headache so she would run into the bathroom and wet a fresh bathrag and bring it to him. It made my heart hurt even worse when I would look at her and she would just be sitting there crying. She's been sleeping with my mom a lot here lately and the other night I went into the bedroom to tell her good night and she was smelling the pillow. I knew what she was doing...but I had to ask... She said "it smells like Paw Paw" and I asked her to let me see and it did. The next morning she told mom that she dreamed about him that night and that he wasn't sick anymore and that when she went to bed that night, that she saw him laying there in bed. Mom told her it was ok, that she see's him too sometimes.

Well...now that I have myself crying...I'm going to go for now.

Until next time.....all of our love...

My Karson...

My baby girl finally had a smile on her face this evening!! It is so good to see her smile again....and laugh and play again!! She hasn't done much of that at home since my dad died... When we aren't here...she does...but not much at home and she did today... Mom and I both remarked that it was good to see her laugh and smile again!! Mrs. Smith, her counselor at school, called her into her office and talked to her yesterday. That was one of the first things she told me when she got in the car to come home yesterday... She said that she told her that any time she left like she was getting upset and about to cry...to tell her teacher and the teacher would let her come to her office for a couple of minutes...which is good...but I told Karson not to do it too much... She needed to stay in class as much as possible...and she understood...

A little note on me...

I thought that I would be able to get through this without having a migraine...man was I ever WRONG!!! I had to come home from work today because of it!! I noticed that I had "floaters" (when you can't completely see out of your eyes...those who get migrainesknow what I'm talking about) this morning...so I took some Excedin Migraine (4 of them) to stop it before it really got started....well...that DIDN'T work!! It kept getting worse...by the time I left the office (I tried sticking it out as long as I could...had to leave at 10:45 a.m.) I couldn't see out of my left eye the floaters were so bad and I was SO sick to my stomach... It was bad!! Bad enough that Raimie and Sherryl told me to call them when I got home so they would know I made it safely to the house... I was so sick...I couldn't call...thank God mom was here...I had her call Raimie becuase I knew she knew her number and I told mom to tell Raimie to tell Sherryl that I was home safe... I got home took one of my migraine pills and crashed in the cave - my mom and dad's room...it gets relly dark in there - for four hours...got up and it wasn't any better so I took another pill and went back into the cave...for four more hours... Mom left at 3 something to go get Karson off the bus and go to Megan basketball game and then they didn't get home until 6:30ish...and I had only been up about 30 minutes... I just took another pill because I still feel like crap and hoping I won't wake up with it in the morning!!

So - wish me luck!!!

Until next time....love to all...

My thoughts....

Are mostly about my mom and dad right now. They had rough times in their marriage...but mostly it was good. I remember the good times at we had at the river house when we were kids... We (us kids) used to smoke the grapevines from the trees on the hills down to the sand... Yes...we were crazy...I know...but we had a blast!! I will never forget this one time that us kids were there with my MeeMaw and PawPaw and we were playing in the piles of leaves and my brother got a leaf stalk (whatever it's called) jammed into his ear and we had to take him to the hospital in Cleveland...

My parents would always drive us into town (Cleveland) for snow cones!! Our favorite was always the pink panther...we never got anything else...Angie and I found one at the sugar shack in Crosby that's close to it...but I can't remember the name...I will have to ask her...

My parents are awesome people!! I'm worried about my mom and what she will do during the day now... Since she retired...she has taken care of my dad...for two years now!! And it's going to be really hard for her right now... But, I know that my dad is watching over her (and us)... She will be doing a lot of stuff at Karson's school...I'm sure of that... And she also stated that she will probably get a job..."even if I'm just a checker ar Wal-Mart...I have to do something...I won't be able to just sit in the house...that's for sure!!" were her exact words!! So - if anyone knows of something part-time...hit me up and let me know and I will pass it on to her...

My dad was the hardest worker I knew... And my brother falls fast behind him! When dad was forced to quit work do to his disability, he still tinkered outside in the woodshed making things... He would sit out there on his stool and work away for as long as he could...about an hour at a time... There in the end...it was less and less that he was able to get out there...

He made Karson's cradle that she slept in when Jeff and I brought her home from the hospital... And I will cherish it ALWAYS!! Many Kilgore (and non-Kilgore) babies have slept in it since then also.... First Karson (of course), then my best friend Miranda's second child (her first are Karson are 9 days apart...told you she's my best friend...we did everything togeter...even having our first kids together..LOL), and then my Janna-Bananna, and then Jacob. Now it holds Karson's dolls and stuffed animals... Well, some of them!! LOL...

My dad was a wonderful man that is going to be terribly missed by many, many people!!!

That's all for now...

Until next time...

My Dad....

You know...my dad was sick for SO LONG that we had said that when he passed away that we would be "prepaired" for it... But...we weren't!! This has been so HARD for all of us!! Karson is having a really hard time with it. I met with her teachers today for our annual parent/teacher conference and told them about it. They said that they would each give her a little extra TLC... They are such sweet teachers!! I couldn't have asked for better! I also spoke with her counselor as well about it. She said that she might call Karson into her office and just chat with her and let her know if she ever wanted to talk to someone other than us...that's she's there for her. I said that was a great idea!! That's one of the many reasons a counselor is at each campus...

We miss my dad so MUCH!!! But - none of us would want him back the way he was!! He hurt SO BAD the last few months...but when his girls were around...he would put on a happy face for them! He LOVED his baby girls so much!! All of us have said numerous times that the reason he lasted so long was because he was living for them!! Don't get me wrong...he loved us and wanted to stay here for us too...but his baby girls were his heart from the first time he held them and told them he loved them until the last time!!

Well...I just wanted to thank everyone for all the love and support and prayers the past few weeks!! Just make sure you keep them coming! The girls (and us too) need as many as we can get...

Love to all...and until next time....