Whew......

Well...

Thanksgiving has come and gone...
Now it's on to Christmas...and the one year mark of Dad passing away...

My brother, Bryan (for those of you who don't know his name) and I were talking just last week about how it's been almost a year since Daddy died...and it doesn't seem like it...

I still remember everyone that was at the hospital with us that week. We had SO many visitor the four days we were in the hospital and in the hospice hospital. Bryan got so MAD at me the night Daddy died... Dad had started hemorrhaging again that afternoon and I had had ENOUGH!! The doctor promised us that if he started again, that he would keep him sedated enough that he wouldn't be in any pain and he would just relax and he would ease off to be wth our Heavenly Father. Well, when it came down to it...the nurses couldn't/wouldn't give him what the doctor told us...so he was having to go through it again...

I got SO MAD!!! I punched the wall and told the nurse...in not a nice way...to tell that doctor to get his @$$ up there and rid my dad of the pain he was in...that he promised us he wouldn't go through it anymore... Our nurse was AWESOME!!! She called the doctor at home and told him what I said...and did...and he told her to do whatever it took to ease dad's pain...that he did tell us that...

Within 10 or 15 minutes, Dad was no longer in pain and was relaxed enough that we all put our hands on him and told him we loved him and that it was okay for him to go...he had suffered enough...

Dad took his last and final breath on December 24, 2008 at 6:18 p.m.

When he did, it was like there was a weight lifted off of our shoulders because he was no longer in pain...he was in Heaven with God, his sisters, his mom and dad, with his father-in-law, and his very best friend in the entire world, Victor Holmelin. And I truely believe that they were ALL waiting for him at those pearly gates!

The very first person I called that night as soon as it happened was Jeff. I needed to hear his voice! I needed him to tell me it was okay and that Daddy was in a much better place! And he did! No matter what, Jeff and I will ALWAYS be there for each other when we need the other one!

It was SO HARD telling the girls. They loved and still love their Paw Paw very much!! Neither one of them can go out to see his headstone yet...but when they are ready...they will...and I will never force them to do it! It's something that they need to do when they are ready to do it. I'm sure Karson will be ready before Megan...my Munchkin remembers Daddy when he wasn't sick...when he could get down in the floor and play with her at 2 and 3 years old and let her put bows and clips and hats etc. on him and in his hair. Karson only remembers a Paw Paw that has been sick all of her life...he had his first stroke before she was a year old... He still did most of those things with Karson...but he was able to do more with Megan...

We miss you so much Daddy! I can't believe you've been gone almost a year...but I know you are so much better now!! And we wouldn't want you back they way you were...we wouldn't want anyone to go through what you went through the last four to six months you were alive.

LOVE,

YOUR PEANUT!!!