My next tattoo

This is my next tattoo... It's just a rough sketch as Becky called it when she did it for me... But it's perfect and exactly what I want...and that I will get in the next few weeks! It's a memorial to my dad and to honor my MeeMaw... All of you know that dad passed away from thoat cancer on 12/24/08...well...some don't know that MeeMaw has battled breast cancer....TWICE....and won both times!!! First time wasn't so bad...they got all of the lump when they did the biopsy...the second time wasn't so easy... She had to have surgery and then the doctor didn't get all of it...so she had to go through radiation...but...she's a trooper and is now cancer free...AGAIN!!!

Okay......so I have searched and searched for the sketch of the tattoo......and I CAN'T FIND IT!!!!! I sure hope Becky still has it on her computer...once I find it...I'll post it!

Sorry Laura...

WooHoo...it was on my cell phone...it's kind of cut off at the bottom where "Love" will be written...but you get the picture...

Yummy.....

This is my version of an Italian cream cheese cake...everyone LOVES it when I make it...so feel privilaged that I'm sharing it with you all...


Kari's Italian Cream Cheese Cake

Cake:
1 box of Yellow cake mix - (MUST BE BUTTER RECIPE AND THE ONE THAT HAS PUDDING IN THE MIX)
1/3 stick of butter
3 eggs
1 can 15 1/2 oz. curshed pineapple
Mix butter with mixer to soften; add cake mix, 3 eggs, and ENTIRE can of cushed pineapple (including juice) - DO NOT ADD THE WATER THAT THE MIX SAYS TO ADD - YOU ARE USING THE PINEAPPLE JUICE INSTEAD OF THE WATER. Mix for 2 - 3 minutes until well blended. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 - 35 minutes (depending on your oven…start checking at 25 minutes…)

Icing:
1 stick of butter
1 8 oz. package of cream cheese - I use fat free…shh…don't tell anyone :-)
1 package of powdered sugar - you don't use the whole bag - only about 1/2 to 3/4
1 package of chopped walnuts - optional
Milk - a splash at a time
Mix the butter and cream cheese; add about 1/2 bag of powdered sugar and a splash of milk. Mix well and taste…if it doesn't taste right…add a little more of the powdered sugar…not much though… If you want to add the walnuts, this is the time to add them to incorporate them into the icing....
*******Ice the cake when it's warm....I poke a butter knife in the top of the
cake to make 'breathing holes' for the icing to go down into the cake....

ENJOY!!! Let me know how you like it!!!

What is your happiest moment.....

Idea stolen from Lisa at Livin' Louisiana (she's AWESOME!!! www.livinlouisiana.blogspot.com)

When was your happiest moment??

Where were you??

What did you see??

What did you taste??

What did you hear??

What did you feel??

Let me know...I'm nosy that way...LOL...

And Lisa...thank you for the tidbit of information...I am very thankful my doctors and nurses put me on antibotics right away...that must have been horrible for her family and you... Lots of love to you!!

Thinking of something...

You know how much I love kids...and most of you know that I can't have anymore and it kills me that I can't! So, I'm thinking of adopting... I have always felt the need to do something for someone else...and I think that this could be it! I know that I have a LONG and HARD road ahead of me...but in the end...the outcome is going to be wonderful!! With me being single and divorced, I know my chances are few and far between...but I will never know unless I try! Love to all of you!

Today...

Today will always be a special day in my heart. It would have been mine and Jeff's 10th anniversary. But now, it's special in another way... Today is her baby brother Ryan's 2nd birthday!! She is so excited to go to his birthday party tomorrow!! She hates that she doesn't see him every day...but that's okay because she does get to see him when she goes to her Jeff's. Most of the time when she goes over there for the night, he has him and she plays up a storm with him and gets to love on him like crazy! They watch movies and play like there's no tomorrow!! But, when it's time for her to come home...when Jeff drops her off...he just cries and cries!! And then that makes her cry....and then she makes me cry....non-stop crying for a couple of hours in our house every other weekend....

Well...I hope everyone has a great weekend!! Our day is packed full tomorrow... I've got to take her to meet Shanna for Ryan's birthday party...then we have a housewarming party for my cousin Becky...plus it's her daughter's 3rd birthday party...two parties in one...GREAT idea!!! So...have a great one...I know I will!!

We made it...

Well...we made it through the first year of daddy being gone. The past two weeks were NOTHING like last year!! Last year, the day after Christmas, we were making funeral arrangements for daddy...this year...we all hung out at the house and did nothing!

Christmas Eve was rough for us...after we got home from Steven and Jill's for the annual Kilgore Christmas, I finally got Karson to bed and Bryan brought in what he made her...

(I took this picture with my BlackBerry...so please excuse the fuzziness... My dad would be SO PROUD of Bryan for making this for her. He did it all...except for the staining and top coat...I helped with that...)

Mom, Bryan and I breakdown that night after she went to bed...but...we needed it... Everyone called or texted throughout the day checking on us and we were VERY thankful we have so many people who love us and thought of us that day... But, we needed it...and it helped get us through Christmas Day... I will never forget what Karson told my mom a little over a year ago...and I know that I've referenced it elsewhere on my blog...so hang in there with me while I repeat it again..."Nanna, Jesus couldn't have gotten a better birthday present than my PawPaw!" She was so sweet when she said it...with tears rolling down her face...

Anyway...we made it through the Holidays... Thank you again for all of the support each of you have given us through this past year! It is because of yall and God that we made it through with as little speed bumbs as we have had... Thank you...we love all of you!!

(Karson's surprise from Santa: she loves this thing!! And has learned to do tricks on it...LOL)

Whew......

Well...

Thanksgiving has come and gone...
Now it's on to Christmas...and the one year mark of Dad passing away...

My brother, Bryan (for those of you who don't know his name) and I were talking just last week about how it's been almost a year since Daddy died...and it doesn't seem like it...

I still remember everyone that was at the hospital with us that week. We had SO many visitor the four days we were in the hospital and in the hospice hospital. Bryan got so MAD at me the night Daddy died... Dad had started hemorrhaging again that afternoon and I had had ENOUGH!! The doctor promised us that if he started again, that he would keep him sedated enough that he wouldn't be in any pain and he would just relax and he would ease off to be wth our Heavenly Father. Well, when it came down to it...the nurses couldn't/wouldn't give him what the doctor told us...so he was having to go through it again...

I got SO MAD!!! I punched the wall and told the nurse...in not a nice way...to tell that doctor to get his @$$ up there and rid my dad of the pain he was in...that he promised us he wouldn't go through it anymore... Our nurse was AWESOME!!! She called the doctor at home and told him what I said...and did...and he told her to do whatever it took to ease dad's pain...that he did tell us that...

Within 10 or 15 minutes, Dad was no longer in pain and was relaxed enough that we all put our hands on him and told him we loved him and that it was okay for him to go...he had suffered enough...

Dad took his last and final breath on December 24, 2008 at 6:18 p.m.

When he did, it was like there was a weight lifted off of our shoulders because he was no longer in pain...he was in Heaven with God, his sisters, his mom and dad, with his father-in-law, and his very best friend in the entire world, Victor Holmelin. And I truely believe that they were ALL waiting for him at those pearly gates!

The very first person I called that night as soon as it happened was Jeff. I needed to hear his voice! I needed him to tell me it was okay and that Daddy was in a much better place! And he did! No matter what, Jeff and I will ALWAYS be there for each other when we need the other one!

It was SO HARD telling the girls. They loved and still love their Paw Paw very much!! Neither one of them can go out to see his headstone yet...but when they are ready...they will...and I will never force them to do it! It's something that they need to do when they are ready to do it. I'm sure Karson will be ready before Megan...my Munchkin remembers Daddy when he wasn't sick...when he could get down in the floor and play with her at 2 and 3 years old and let her put bows and clips and hats etc. on him and in his hair. Karson only remembers a Paw Paw that has been sick all of her life...he had his first stroke before she was a year old... He still did most of those things with Karson...but he was able to do more with Megan...

We miss you so much Daddy! I can't believe you've been gone almost a year...but I know you are so much better now!! And we wouldn't want you back they way you were...we wouldn't want anyone to go through what you went through the last four to six months you were alive.

LOVE,

YOUR PEANUT!!!